Don't parent like it's 2005.
Navigating parenthood today: Essential trends and tools for lasting success.
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Being a parent is tricky. Unknown forces constantly pull you in different directions.
Ghosts from the past lead you back to childhood, where, like John West, “you take the best of your parents’ methods and reject the rest.”
Friends, neighbours, and family also influence how you parent, as everyone has an opinion on how you should raise your kids. (Interestingly, most of us know exactly how to raise other people’s kids but struggle to raise our own.)
Parenting can be so political.
Like politics, parenting can be polarising, particularly when parents adopt varying methods and styles. Attachment, authoritative, or permissive parenting, anyone?
Choosing a style assumes that every child in the family will respond to the same approach, which, in my experience, doesn’t work.
Worse, parents who adopt a specific style or method often find themselves trapped in a parenting timewarp.
Times have changed, and practices that were acceptable 40, 30, or even 20 years ago may no longer be sufficient today.
Parenting like it’s 2025.
The most effective parents—those who are happy, successful, and thriving—utilise methods that cater to individual children and are in tune with their times.
Here are five methods and practices suited to the current times for raising children.
1. A family works best when it’s a wise, benevolent dictatorship.
Families work well when someone is in charge. It’s a good idea if it’s a parent!
You don’t need to use the same managerial methods your parents used, but you must feel comfortable being a firm leader.
Being a leader doesn’t mean always making all the decisions for your kids. Nor does it mean being a controlling parent—that’s just creepy.
Vary your approach.
Consider options. Gather opinions. Hold a family meeting if that suits your management style. Communicate what needs to be done.
Make sure to cover the essential aspects, including respectful behaviour, family rituals, mental health practices, and so on.
A wise and benevolent dictatorship is ideally positioned to provide children with the safety and certainty they need to thrive within their families.
2. The use of flexible boundaries.
Childhood is a long, hopefully enjoyable, sometimes challenging, and often risky journey to adulthood.
Parents are responsible for ensuring the journey is safe, straightforward, and successful. You will utilise many tools along the way, but none are more critical or enduring than boundaries.
Boundaries help kids stay safe (“ride your bike to the end of the street”), teach them social skills (“you shouldn’t say that to your mate"), and assist them in achieving success at school and in their pursuits ("please be on time").
Forget rigid rules.
Boundaries that are flexible rather than rigid work best in families. They need to accommodate different kids and situations. For example, a child on the autism spectrum will likely require different boundaries than other children of a similar age.
Parents must guide the group (see #1 above) and attend to children's needs, so flexibility is essential, particularly when establishing boundaries.
3. The use of visual management (especially for boys)
I grew up in a household that relied heavily on spoken communication. My mother consistently reminded me of my responsibilities and verbally reprimanded me when I made mistakes.
With a few notable exceptions, my wife and I followed this approach while raising our kids. We divided chores into weekly rosters and displayed a list of weekly events on the fridge to encourage autonomy.
How modern we believed we were.
Go visual to promote independence.
Verbal reminders keep kids dependent on you.
“Come on, get ready for school!”
If you’ve told your kids this (or something similar) regularly, they likely know the words by heart. Repeating them only reinforces their dependence on you.
Use visual prompts, charts, and lists to wean kids off you and promote absolute independence and autonomy.
Visual parenting is highly effective with boys as it leverages their strengths—particularly their ability for visual learning.
4. Add positive mental health practices to family life.
“Go outside and play.”
That was the extent of the positive mental health messaging I received as a child. My mum instinctively knew that playing outside was good for me, but she didn’t realise just how mental health truly works.
Yes, simpler times existed before the internet, social media, and smartphones. However, I experienced anxiety as a child, but it went unrecognised. I was constantly told to stop worrying, which was the cornerstone of my anxiety management plan.
Develop your family’s mental health literacy.
Research consistently shows that good mental health is essential for a child’s well-being, physical, psychological, and social development, and school success.
Parents know the importance of positive mental health. The next step is to develop mental health literacy in your family. Mental health literacy includes:
The language of mental health.
Understanding of what good mental health looks like.
Knowledge of practices that promote positive mental health.
Mood management practices, including how to manage anxiety and stress.
Knowing triggers and stressors to minimise, manage and avoid.
In 2025, it’s vital to prioritise mental health within family life as a preventative measure and to maximise a child’s potential to thrive in all aspects of their life.
5. Teach kids to navigate two worlds.
We inhabit two realms: the offline and the online.
Very young children navigate the offline world. Parents direct their language and efforts to build their child’s real-world agency. We strive to keep them safe as they move through the streets after school. We provide them with the language to use in social situations. We assist them in overcoming disappointment when things don’t go their way at school or in their interest groups.
All familiar ground for parents.
The online world becomes a reality as kids enter school and away from early childhood.
Play a positive role.
Preparing children to navigate the online world is uncharted territory for parents. It’s a challenge our parents didn’t encounter. Undoubtedly, it’s tricky, and you’ll make mistakes as you figure it out. Key strategies include:
Open communication means engaging in conversations frequently and being attentive to your child’s opinions.
Establish clear boundaries, such as family rules, device-free zones, and consistent behaviour.
Educate on digital citizenship, including respectful online behaviour, critical thinking, and the significance of privacy.
Lead by example by limiting screen time and demonstrating responsible online behaviour.
Establish parental controls to filter inappropriate content, set time limits, and limit app access.
Finally…..
While the parenting landscape is continually changing, parents' primary responsibility is to nurture good citizens who can positively contribute to their communities and are resilient enough to handle life's curveballs.
One key to successful parenting is using methods that are attuned to the current times instead of relying on outdated practices, chasing after fads as quick solutions to parenting challenges, or ignoring difficulties, hoping that everything will eventually resolve itself.
For parenting success in 2025, be proactive, practise kindness and whatever else you do, use practices relevant to the current times.
Parenting ToolBox Words of Wisdom
“This is a powerful message to get across to children. The only way a child will grasp this message is for parents and other adults to live this message.
Children become what they live.”
