How to teach kids to think forward and why it’s a smart thing to do
This powerful tool will set your kids up for success
The smartest people have one thing in common.
They think forward and consider the secondary consequences of their decisions.
If they want to change jobs, they just don’t assess the immediate consequences – a change to wages, different location, travel times.
These consequences are obvious. Little time or effort is needed to consider them.
Smart people consider the long term or follow-on consequences of a job change on their lives. These may include the possible impact of a change of employment on a partner’s work situation; a possible reduction in leisure time and how the affects on family-life.
In an era when decisions are just a click of a mouse away, the ability pause to consider the secondary consequences is a massive tool to have in your arsenal.
A wonderful life skill for kids
Thinking forward is a great life skill for kids, especially heuristic learners who like to learn from experience.
It’s not just heuristics learners who benefit from thinking through the secondary consequences of decisions. It’s a skill that helps set kids up for success.
Best of all, it’s a skill that can taught. Here’s how:
1. Encourage kids to delay gratification.
Discourage instant gratification.
Most poorly thought through decisions can be attributed to the immediate satisfaction of a need or want. “I want it and I want it now” discourages forward thinking.
Avoid giving kids what they want immediately. Encourage them to wait until they get their immediate needs met.
“I know you’re hungry, but dinner is soon so don’t fill up on snacks” encourages kids to delay gratification and put up with discomfort.
Develop in the habit of delaying instant gratification and watch your kids thrive.
Image by Ruslan Gonzalez from Pixabay
2. Ask smart questions.
Ask questions that make kids think.
“So, what would happen if you were school captain?”
“Is there anything you’d dislike about it?”
“How would your friends react?”
“Will you still have time for sport and other things you like to do at lunchtime?”
This is not about prying or putting a dampener on things but encouraging your child to think past than their immediate emotional reaction.
3. If the answer isn’t yes, it’s no
Here’s a phrase I often use: “If the answer isn’t yes, it’s no.”
If I can’t answer Yes to a request straight away, then the only answer is NO.
This approach encourages me use my instinct, or gut, which is an immensely powerful guide.
Teach this mantra to your kids and encourage them to go by their gut instinct.
That’s because your gut instinct considers the secondary consequences of a decision, that you can’t necessarily see immediately.
“I’m not sure why but something tells me not to do it” is the type of thinking that comes from listening to your instincts.
4. Think out loud.
Let kids hear you thinking things through.
“I’m not sure whether to renovate the bathroom this year or wait until next year. If we do it this year, then we won’t be going on that holiday we planned. But I know your mum will stay more often, as the bathroom was a bugbear for her.”
This type of conscious modelling shows kids the thinking processes you use to make complex decisions.
Smart parents give kids tools, processes and systems that stay for life.
5. Play chess and other strategy games.
My adult son regularly plays chess with his eleven-year-old daughter, which is both a wonderful relationship-building activity and an exercise in strategic thinking.
I’ve played with my granddaughter and she’s good! She thinks about three moves ahead, which is way past my limit.
Learning chess doesn’t guarantee that she will make smart, risk-free decisions as a teenager. There are way too many variables involved.
But it does mean that she has the propensity for strategic thinking, which in time will become a pattern of behaviour that will be difficult to break.
Finally…..
The ability to slow down their impulses and think things through is a brilliant life skill that will set your kids up for success in every field they choose.
Help kids learn to think forward by:
1. Encourage kids to delay gratification.
2. Ask smart questions.
3. If the answer isn’t yes, it’s no
4. Think out loud.
5. Play chess and other strategy games.
I’d love to know your reaction to this article. So please let me know what you think. I’d LOVE to hear from you!