How to Make your Parenting Habits so Simple that You Can't Fail.
Here's a foolproof way to learn new parenting skills and become a better parent.
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Parenting has become so complicated that parents are set up to fail.
There was a time when raising kids well required common sense, a firm backbone, a kind heart, good organisational skills, and a truckload of patience.
It would help to put bread on the table and afford a yearly holiday. But even the latter was a nice thing to do, not a must.
Now, the list of expectations seems never-ending.
You're expected to maintain a positive attitude, communicate on your child’s level, develop their autonomy, mediate sibling fights, teach siblings to resolve conflict peacefully, manage their stress, instil a sense of responsibility, prioritise your mental health, nurture their emotional intelligence, and more.
It seems you need a degree just to get to parenting first base.
Replace complexity with simplicity.
The easiest way to become a great/successful/effective/tremendous (choose your adjective here)parent is to turn complex ideas into simple parenting behaviours.
Then, repeat them until they become habits.
It’s a foolproof way to learn new skills.
Here are ten simple behaviours with the concepts they represent in brackets to get you on your way:
1. Greet your child with a smile each morning. (Positivity and optimism)
2. Face children when they speak to you. (Active listening)
3. Get down to your child’s eye level when you have something important to say. (Respectful communication)
4. Put school lunches on the kitchen bench for them to pack. (Building capacities)
5. Put a laundry basket in their room to bring out on wash days. (Personal responsibility)
6. Place important jobs on a weekly roster. (Belonging through contribution)
7. Teach kids to forgive by saying, “Please tell your brother you are sorry.” (Relationship restoration)
8. Refuse to argue, saying, “You might be right” when they argue with you. (Removal from power play)
9. When you need a break, go to the bathroom or take a walk. (Parental self-care)
10. Look away, take some deep breaths and speak calmly when your kids misbehave. (Modelling emotional regulation)
You may think, “Some of these behaviours wouldn’t wash in my family.” That’s okay.
These are examples only. They are not prescriptive. Choose the behaviours that work for you and your family.
Reduce big parenting concepts to simple behaviours you can easily practise.
This reduces overwhelm, making parenting easy and improvement within reach.
Here are four steps to simplifying parenting.
To turn complex concepts into simple behaviours:
1. Think of what’s essential to you.
2. Reduce it to its most straightforward behaviour.
3. Practise the behaviour.
4. Repeat until it becomes a habit- part of your family culture.
Remember that repetition turns behaviours into habits, and then they become part of your family culture.
Parenting Toolbox Wise Words.
“Talent gets kids only so far. Resilience takes them the rest of the way.” Michael Grose
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