The Secret to Working From the Same Script as Your Partner
Parental consistency is one of the greatest gifts you can give kids.
This masterclass article is the second in the six-session Special Series -How To Build A Strong, Resilient Family (Especially When You're busy).
You can catch the first session here:
The days of ‘go see your mother’ are long gone.
Shared parenting is in.
Whether you are raising children with a partner or co-parenting after a separation, your biggest challenge is working from the same parenting script.
You may be strict, while your partner is lenient.
One may value mealtimes, while the other is ambivalent.
One may be the fun parent, while the other is the family ogre.
It’s frustrating, but it doesn’t have to be a source of conflict.
Predictability is paramount
A child's sense of stability and security is profoundly linked to their parents' consistency.
When parents are a cohesive unit, children feel safe.
They learn what to expect, and they are not left to navigate a world where the rules are constantly changing. This predictability is a cornerstone for building a child’s resilience and confidence.
Achieving unity, however, is not always straightforward.
You and your partner bring different backgrounds, family histories, and personal beliefs to the table. You may have grown up with a strict 8 PM bedtime, while your partner’s family was more flexible. While these differences are normal, if they are not addressed, they can create instability within the family structure.
So, how do you bridge these gaps and develop compatible, consistent ways of raising your kids? How do you co-parent successfully when you are not together?
The five keystone strategies outlined below will help ensure you work on the same page with your partner. You’ll also find three extra ideas for co-parenting success.
At the end, I’ve included an exercise to help you put the learning into action - that is, an activity to get you both on the same page as parents.