How to discipline a sensitive child: an easy guide for parents.

Know a child who wears their heart on their sleeve? "Handle With Care" if discipline is to be effective, not harmful.

Disciplining sensitive kids is tricky.

Sensitive kids, those creative, empathetic types who wear their hearts on their sleeves and take even the slightest criticism personally, need to be handled with care.

Disciplining a sensitive child is like an elephant walking on ice – you’re only ever one step away from disaster.

It’s tempting not to discipline them so you won’t hurt their feelings. However, sensitive kids must learn to become social to reach their full potential.

They also like to feel safe and secure, so a permissive ‘do whatever’ approach is not for this group.

Discipline techniques to avoid.

Shelve these four methods if a child is a worrier or takes every slight personally.

1. Shaming, naming and blaming.

“"You should be ashamed of yourself," “You’re a naughty girl," and “It’s all your fault!” should be excluded from every parent’s arsenal, as they do more harm than good.

They have a devastating impact on sensitive children’s self-esteem. Such a phrase uttered with anger and annoyance can have a lasting effect.

2. Physical discipline.

This method should be off the table, especially for this group.

3. Withdrawal of love and affection.

There’s a difference between withdrawing affection and withdrawing attention. The latter is temporary and aimed at specific behaviours that kids use to keep parents busy, while the former is more permanent. Withdrawing affection damages relationships and decreases children’s positive sense of self.

Sensitive kids often mistake a temporary lack of attention for a lack of affection, so it’s advisable to limit ignoring children’s poor behaviour as much as possible.

4. Isolation.

Sensitive kids hate the isolation of time out. They fret rather than reflect, which is the primary purpose of this method.

Discipline tools to use.

Let the following ideas guide your discipline interactions when sensitive kids behave poorly. These five simple tools are essential for successfully disciplining kids with sensitive natures.

1. Give them a chance to make good.

Most sensitive kids crave adult approval, so a stern look or a change in tone of voice is enough to communicate your disapproval.

Once you’ve made your disapproval known, offer advice about how to behave better next time.

Give them the chance to make good and do better.

They won’t let you down.

2. Watch your manner.

Sensitive kids are mood detectives. They’re always reading the emotion behind your words. While friendly and firm discipline sounds cliché, it’s a reality for sensitive kids.

Move close, speak quietly and assure them their poor behaviour has not harmed their relationship with you.

Soft touch, while talking, is reassuring and calming for these nervous kids.

3. Use consequences carefully.

If kids repeatedly break a rule or misbehave when the limits are clear use a consequence, but make sure you deliver it like a neutral cop.

This way, they won’t feel ashamed, a common emotion for these kids.

Then talk about better ways of behaving.

Separate the behaviour from the child so they know it’s their behaviour, not them, that’s getting under your skin.

4. Replace time out with time in.

When they need to calm down or reflect on their behaviour, position them nearby on a chair or a similar spot.

Quiet time doesn’t need to mean isolation.

Separating them from you is the worst thing you can do.

5. Always repair your relationship.

Spending positive time with your child after discipline helps you to re-establish goodwill. However, life can get in the way, and this isn’t always possible.

However, make it a rule of thumb to check in with a sensitive child after discipline to ensure everything is okay.

Make peace even though you may not see the need.

Finally……

One in three children falls into the sensitive category.

Sensitivity is closely linked with anxiety and other mental health issues.

While anxiety is now part of mainstream conversation when discussing children, sensitivity is still on the edges, as it’s not widely understood.

Parents, teachers, and coaches must be sensitive when managing children’s behaviour to ensure that discipline is effective and not harmful.

Parenting Toolbox Wise Words

“There’s a correlation between highly sensitive children, creativity and empathy. These sensitive souls make excellent friends, kind community members and wonderful life partners.”