Thanks Stella. You’re modelling great behaviours for your young perfectionist to observe. Kids pick up the explanatory style of their primary parent(usually their mothers) by the age of seven, so keeping showing her mistakes are no big deal and she’ll begin to view the world through that lens.👍
This is very well articulated. Perfectionists are often labeled "capable," causing us to overlook problem-solving as a skill that needs to be taught—one that eventually catches up with them if left unaddressed.
I grew up as a perfectionist, and in many ways, I still am. However, with what I know now, I've made a conscious effort to focus less on perfectionism, especially in my parenting. Before I became more intentional, my own perfectionistic tendencies led my daughter, who is also a perfectionist herself to start lying to avoid admitting mistakes. She would rather lie her way out of a situation than admit she did something wrong, fearing the failure that came with imperfection.
Now that I understand better, we approach mistakes as stepping stones to success, not as failures. I own up to my mistakes openly in front of her and our family, demonstrating that it's okay to make errors and learn from them. I also guide her in thinking through her problems and encourage her to come up with solutions. This approach has helped both of us immensely and her lying episodes are practically non-existent now. Thank you for sharing, Michael, more parents need to read this.
Thanks Stella. You’re modelling great behaviours for your young perfectionist to observe. Kids pick up the explanatory style of their primary parent(usually their mothers) by the age of seven, so keeping showing her mistakes are no big deal and she’ll begin to view the world through that lens.👍
This is very well articulated. Perfectionists are often labeled "capable," causing us to overlook problem-solving as a skill that needs to be taught—one that eventually catches up with them if left unaddressed.
I grew up as a perfectionist, and in many ways, I still am. However, with what I know now, I've made a conscious effort to focus less on perfectionism, especially in my parenting. Before I became more intentional, my own perfectionistic tendencies led my daughter, who is also a perfectionist herself to start lying to avoid admitting mistakes. She would rather lie her way out of a situation than admit she did something wrong, fearing the failure that came with imperfection.
Now that I understand better, we approach mistakes as stepping stones to success, not as failures. I own up to my mistakes openly in front of her and our family, demonstrating that it's okay to make errors and learn from them. I also guide her in thinking through her problems and encourage her to come up with solutions. This approach has helped both of us immensely and her lying episodes are practically non-existent now. Thank you for sharing, Michael, more parents need to read this.